You probably remember actor Nikolai Stonka’s emotional video address “I Am Going Out” in November 2020, which he recorded after the killing of Raman Bandarenka. Years later, the Belarusian has found himself in a difficult situation due to depression and psychological problems. While therapy is ongoing, the man needs support.
My name is Nikolai Stonka. For eight years, I acted at the Republican Theatre of Belarusian Drama. In November 2020, after the killing of Raman Bandarenka and repression against my colleagues, I recorded the video address “I Am Going Out,” in which I explained why I could no longer continue working at the theatre, and I resigned.
On 15 December 2020, I left Belarus. About two weeks after my departure, KGB officers came to my mother. They asked where I was and why I had left. After that, I finally understood that they were looking for me, and that returning to Belarus would be equal to losing my freedom.
Since then, five years have already passed. In Poland, I tried to rebuild my life and stay in the profession. In Warsaw, I joined the Kupalovtsy, acted in independent theatre projects, and tried my hand at commercial projects. At the same time, I worked as a barista to support myself and continue developing in acting. All these years, I tried to cope on my own and not ask for help.
For about two years now, I have been in a state of deep depression. I take antidepressants, but unfortunately, that is not enough to cope with my current condition. It is difficult for me to perform even basic everyday tasks, let alone full-time work and a normal life.
I decided to turn to a specialist and begin intensive therapy because I realised that I could no longer cope on my own. I am now undergoing a two-month course: Monday to Friday, every day from 8:30 to 15:00, I work with a specialist. This is an important step in my recovery, but it almost completely deprives me of the ability to earn money.
At the moment, I have neither the physical nor emotional strength to work even in the evenings or on weekends. I understand that theoretically this is possible, but in practice I can no longer manage. Debts have piled up, and I am afraid of ending up on the street, because next month I will have no money either for rent or for food.
I applied for help from social services in Poland, but I can count on about 800 zloty for two months. This amount is not enough even for the most basic needs.
Your support will help me get through this critical period: pay for housing, food, and everyday expenses while I am undergoing therapy. I have a chance to focus on treatment, recover, return to work, and start living a normal life again. For five years, I tried to cope on my own and not ask for help, but now I am in a vulnerable position and understand that I cannot manage without support. Any contribution will help me avoid ending up on the street and complete this journey.
Fundraiser amount:
€1,950
€1,200 – rent payment
€750 – food and household services